Patton Oswalt, actor and comedian, William & Mary
To the graduating class of 2023, I say three words: you poor bastards.

Democracy’s crumbling, truth is up for grabs, the planet’s trying to kill us, and loneliness is driving everyone insane.

I breezed into a world full of trivia and silliness and fun. You are about to enter a hellscape where you will have to fight for every scrap of your humanity and dignity. You do not have a choice to be anything but extraordinary. Those are the times you’re living in right now.
Patton Oswalt ‘91 | 2023 Commencement - YouTube