noun
the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

I don’t feel like I’m patient.

But I think that’s because my patience is constantly being challenged. As a teacher and parent of small child sometimes my whole life feels like it’s, at its core, a test of my patience.

And of course, I would say that I fail.

Constantly.

Over and over again.

With my children, with student’s and silently with adults.

I never feel like I never really, properly, recover. For the simple reason that I don’t have the time to. I start running again before I’ve properly recovered my breath.

I exercise, regularly, am pretty good about sleeping and mostly eat ok. These are the things that are sacred. First I make sure I do these things.

And you can’t have it all.

And so, I feel like I constantly lose my patience and I beat myself up about and say,

“ I will do better.”

But I can’t because I don’t recover properly before I start again.

And again, and again…