The hallmark of a resilient, productive and sustainable culture is that disagreements aren’t risky.
We’re often presented with an image of parenting that is a bit too perfect. Like a Norman Rockwell scene preserved in a snowglobe.
But all too often parents wake up to realize they were cast in a reality show without their permission. The kids cause more problems in 4 minutes than I could get into in 4 years. You wonder if your genetics have spawned an unholy chimera of you and you partner’s worst traits. It gets to a point where you wake up to the sounds of screams. Not the kid’s screams. Yours.
I liked this, about how to support your kids to be more helpful and to consider yours and their emotions. I’m still chuckling at this quote from the intro though! Source: Ancient Traditions Reveal 2 Rituals That Will Make You An Awesome Parent - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
I thought that the whole city I live in, a city of a few million people, needs a COVID test tomorrow was the most depressing thing today. (It’s the implications of not being able to leave China…) ThenI read about Shifting Baseline Syndrome (SBS) and that was worse.
Yumo sprayed me with the plant sprayer thing at 6:15am. An auspicious start to the last day of the summer holidays.
Massage
I had a headache, just a dull ache. I think it’s related to being stressed about going back to work on Monday after the summer holiday. Combined with the kids being themselves and me losing my patience twice yesterday that I’ve been beating myself up over. Maybe it’s the heat.
So, we went for massages this morning. I talked Lyra into coming since my confidence in my Chinese and my general anxiety over interacting with people always drops like a stone when I’m stressed.
A friend recommended the place a year or so back. From the outside it does not look like somewhere you should go. A small boxed sized room off the street that is clean but not upmarket in any, way, shapre of form.. 6 or 7 massage beds and while there are curtains they aren’t normally used since they massage you through the clothes you’re wearing. Don’t come expecting privacy. They chat amongst themselves while they give you the massage too. The masseurs who are not working, sit in the room using their phones and just hang out. So, the masseurs are all blind or nearly blind so they interact with their phones by their phones speaking out to them. Honestly, I tune it out so that’s not a big thing for me. If you want relaxing music and diffusers with nice smells you’re not gonna have a good time.
With that said. Sometimes I’ve walked out feeling… I think I told friends once that it felt like I had a new neck. The massages have always been incredible. Today, the headache was gone and I felt so much better. And it’s only 70rmb ($10ish) for an hour. Bargain.
Today’s TOKIO TŌKYŌ TOKYO is great.
I sympathise with not being able to get coffee early in the morning too. Who would want that?!
Some translations are amusing and others combine English in unique ways. Though often it’s hard to understand what they’re trying to say. However, this translation is perfect.
Can’t get it done? Come here and reflect with us!
Today I am grateful for making the time for coffee with friends, something I don’t do enough and should do more.
Also, IKEA having fish fingers. Amazing.
Really enjoyed this Netflix documentary.
Stay on Board: The Leo Baker Story (2022) - IMDb
Follows celebrated competitive skating icon Leo Baker as they try to make space for themselves in the gendered world of pro sports and build a more inclusive skate culture, which leads him to doing the punkest thing imaginable.
Saturday morning Mario 3D World.
Taking suggestions for other similar, child friendly games we could play together…
(Also, he’s pretty good*)
*Fine. He’s better then me. I said it. Are you happy now! sobs
Someone once tried to shame Stilpo for his daughter’s reputation. His reply is worth noting: “She is not more a disgrace to me than I am an honour to her.”
This might seem like a detached or un-fatherly thing to say, but it is in fact, the healthiest and most respectful approach for a parent to have. Your kids are their own people.
Source: Your Kids are Not a Reflection of You - The Daily Dad
Your water is haunted by the ghosts of other people. All the other people.
Things I haven’t thought about before. Where has your water been?
nobody really buys a drink, they just rent it
Today is 10 years, to the day, that I arrived in China and the path my life too forever changed.
Though the whole moving to a new country and marrying a local is something I got from Dad (thanks Dad!).
Still impressed that I’ve managed to keep doing a photo a day that I, eventually, print and then put in the album.
Adult exercise
Found this interesting. We want people doing exercise, especially as adults, but how do we get there?
As well, it’s currently the CrossFit Games currently and it reminds me that what the top, top, TOP athletes do in a given sport is nothing like what a ‘normal’ person who does that sport for fun/health does.
Packed lunch dinners
Elise has always had school lunch but with Yumo joining soon, we will soon be paying for 3 school lunches probably. With that in mind, last night we trialed packed lunch for dinner. Actually, surprisingly, improbably, it was a huge success. I did ham and cheese pin wheels with added broccoli.
Elise gave it a two thumbs up and her comment was that it didn’t need 2 biscuits, one was enough.
evenings and weekends
Yes to this, I don’t know how people can put the kids to bed and then do more work. I just can’t. As well, after working for 45 hours, I don’t have more work in me at the weekend.
I do not put the kids to bed and then crack my laptop to write. The gates of my brain roll down at 7 p.m. like a mall food court Chik-Fil-A on Sunday. time freedom and brainpower and then I had that additional kid.
If I’m on deadline, then I remove myself from the house to do it. Usually a bar on a weekday evening, because I struggle to bring professional energy of any kind to a weekend.