My heart is moved by all I cannot save:
so much has been destroyed
I have to cast my lot with those. who age after age, perversely,
with no extraordinary power,
reconstitute the world.
—Adrienne Rich
My heart is moved by all I cannot save:
so much has been destroyed
I have to cast my lot with those. who age after age, perversely,
with no extraordinary power,
reconstitute the world.
—Adrienne Rich
I’ve been trying hard to be more present this morning. And the effort has been worth it. I’ve felt well, happier, less stressed. I’ve done the washing, made sandwiches for breakfast, watched two 15minute videos, one on foreign correspondents opinions on the upcoming election and one on finding pumpkins in the park presented by someone called Blippi, used my phone less/a little more consciously we’ve been to soft play and then had dumplings with friends.
It’s been nice, the kids for the most part have been amazing.
It is hard work though. I have the creeping anxiety that I should be doing MORE and that if I don’t bad things will happen.
Saturday morning train tracks with Elise
Is anyone considering Apple One? I already have a family music subscription and pay extra for 200gb. So a little extra for Arcade and Apple TV+ seems a good choice.
Kottke just linked to this post titled An Easy Way To Practise Gratitude which is about a game where you simply name 5 nice things in your life. The rules are ‘don’t overthink it, and be specific.’
It ties in nicely for me with something I do about noticing nice things in my life, which I got from this Kurt Vonnegut quote
Anyway, here are mine…
The security guard at school said good morning in English to me yesterday. Normally they would greet us in Chinese but he’s obviously been practising. Even though I had my headphones in it made me smile. Going against my normal programming I shared it in a school chat group and it turns out other people had noticed too. It made me feel a little more connected with people at school/work and I’m glad I shared it.
A teacher’s friend is doing takeaway food from his flat. Yesterday he did bbq chicken with chips, peas and coldslaw and it was amazing. We ate it with a few friends and I had a couple of drinks and didn’t even get too annoyed with the kids!
It’s the weekend and Lyra and I are going on a date tonight while the grandparents babysit. Curry and cocktails. I think I might get my hair cut today aswell. “My hair is long because I haven’t had the time to have it cut.”
It’s the morning, Lyra and Yumo are asleep. I’m having coffee and Elise is getting some screentime. No one is crying or angry and it’s a very pleasant start to Saturday morning.
The Apple photo widget has such a noticeable, positive impact on my life. Opening my phone to old photos of my wife, kids and family is just THE BEST.
The kids were allowed to dress up today and it was the first time I’ve seen a Black Panther, which was cool.
Every morning the security guards take our temperature and say good morning in Chinese. Today though they’ve said it ok English. Which has put a smile on my face!
Stayed up late reading, which I haven’t done in a while. Another YA book out of there school library as I find they scratch the reading itch without being too much when I’m busy. This time Legend by Marie Lu.
Feeling tired this morning though.
Today in Chinese crisp flavours: creme brûlée and milk tea!
Exercise today was row 5k. Which I do because I know it’s good for me, even if I’m not a huge fan. Either of cardio or rowing.
Youngest didn’t wake until 5am so Lyra and I got the bed to ourself all night. Then the eldest and I moved to the spare room at 5:30. Was led with her in the dark, listening to the rain and it was lovely.
#ifthisisn’tnice
Made lasagne for tomorrow. Did some exercise. Was productive. Felt good.
Shoutout to the Wayback Machine for saving the lasagne recipe I like to use after it disappeared
Yumo moved out of our room and into his sister’s. The first night we gave it up but they both eventually slept and then slept through most of the night.
It meant I was able to lie in bed and read a book before going to sleep!
IKEA
This letter to an ‘agony aunt' from someone who has lived in their partner’s home country for a long time and now misses the country they are from is something I think about a lot. Where is my home? I don’t know that I could easily answer that question.
The originally makes sense apparently but the English trans unit so much.
Is there a way to block websites in Safari on my iPhone? I’ve deleted apps but can’t be trusted not to open the website. Eventually I know I’ll just download the apps again because why not.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence my anxiety kicked in after I felt good about myself for doing something. Come on brain, teamwork!
I’ve managed to remove a notification I’ve had for months and never been able to. So I’m feeling pretty good.
Today, try to hold some of the dark and some of the light side by side. Don’t turn away from either one. That’s the muscle I’m building in these horrible, beautiful times.
[Courtney Martin](courtney.sub stack.com)
Youngest did not sleep well and was slow getting back to sleep. So now I’m off to work and feeling a little* tired.
*A lot, a lot tired.
I find I come home from work and spend time with the kids and eventually get them to bed and then I have time. The thing I want most in the whole world, beyond a home gym and a British supermarket.
Yet, I inevitably waste it with idle browsing, being annoyed or stressed or anxious, some of this and some of that. Then suddenly it’s late and I really should be in bed and I’m feeling no better for the time.
So new plan is to have a plan in the evening. Monday was go to the gym, which was awesome and then. Yesterday Lyra and I started watching Monsters and Love - which is fine if the voiceovers are a bit much.
I think I just need to be specific. Using the time to go through my RSS feeds or even catching up on some YouTube videos is fine. There just needs to be purpose.
stand up for what is right
prioritize your mental health
being flexible brings success
your voice makes a diffeerence
do not hide from your emotions
hard moments do not last forever
healing yourself makes life better
pursue your goals no matter what
embracing change eases your mind
young pueblo
My favourite thing about iOS 14 is definitely the photo widget. A constant stream of photos of the kids when they were little-er is just THE EFFIN' BEST. Today it brought me to a 1 Second Everyday I did of Elise when Yumo was born and it was so so so lovely to see.